


Mr. Brightside

by IWriteSmutNotTragedies



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, But Percy Doesn't, I Deserve Death, I Don't Even Know, Jason Grace/Percy Jackson (one sided), Multi, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 06:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWriteSmutNotTragedies/pseuds/IWriteSmutNotTragedies
Summary: Percy has never had powers. He has had addiction problems. And abuse problems. It’s probably gonna be sad so I wouldn’t feel bad if you don’t want to read this. Hell, I don't want to read this, and I wrote it. NOT TO DETER YOU it's not really THAT bad. Not too bad, in word choice, I mean.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I realize now that this might be a product of me thinking about someone close to me, and a few short days after he got out of rehab, shot heroin again and then hanged himself in his parent's bathroom. In other, slightly brighter news, I still need a beta reader for anyone up to the task. I have Grammarly so some of the minor mistakes are being corrected automatically, but I know that there's still going to be parts that just don't fit.

**_*Quick note: Obviously the song this is based on isn’t mine, but I heard it on one of my friends’ playlists, and I decided “what the hay, why not Percy Jackson?” In reality, there are a lot of reasons not to Percy Jackson ~~but we don’t talk about that.*~~_ **

 

Percy’s POV:

 

_ “Fffuck y ou, ya fuckin’ bitch.” The man slurred his words towards me.  _

 

_ “Yeah, fuck you too. Never wanted this life.”  _

 

_ Gabe turned towards me. His fist cocked back. Fist struck flesh and I felt only a mild burning. Nothing hurt anymore. Not with the bottle in my hand.  _

 

**_Comin’ outta my cage_ **

**_And I’ve been doing just fine_ **

**_Gotta gotta be down_ **

**_Because I want it all_ **

 

Percy stumbled out of his apartment. Stumbled down the street. Stumbled into the pub. He stumbled everywhere now. Jason looked at him from his position behind the bar. 

 

“Perce, man, you gotta stop this. You’re my friend. You can’t be doing this. We can help you.” Piper nodded beside him. Annabeth sat on a stool beside Percy, an attempt at comforting him by a hand on his back. 

 

“Percy this isn’t what you want. This isn’t living life on the edge. This isn’t living.”

 

“‘M fine.” 

 

“No, no you’re not, Percy. You need help.” Annabeth gripped his shoulder a bit tighter. 

 

“I’ll take him home. I’m not leaving him alone again.” Annabeth stood and grabbed Percy by the arm.

**********

 

**_Now I’m falling asleep_ **

**_And she’s calling a cab_ **

**_While he’s having a smoke_ **

**_And she’s taking a drag_ **

 

Beautiful. The only word for Jason. The only word Percy’s booze addled mind could come up with. As for Annabeth. The word was cunning. Not beautiful in the mind of a closeted man. Annabeth went home. Percy woke up as the door was closing, too far gone to ask her to stay. Percy looked out his bedroom window to see Jason and Piper standing on the balcony. Piper grabbed the cig from his lips and took a long drag, coughing after. 

 

**_Now they’re going to bed_ **

**_And my stomach is sick_ **

**_And it’s all in my head_ **

**_But she’s touching his chest now_ **

**_He takes off her dress now_ **

**_Let me go…_ **

**_I just can’t look, it’s killing me_ **

**_And taking control…_ **

 

Jason’s shirt was thrown on the floor, Piper’s soon following. Percy ran into the kitchen to grab a trash can and another bottle of booze, taking a long swig then sticking a finger down his throat. 

 

As the vomit rose in his throat, his eyes turned watery. 

 

_ Unfair. _

 

Percy paused his thought; paused his puking. 

 

And then.

 

And then, the great Percy Jackson. Great friend. Great person. Cried. Ugly sobs were wrenched from his throat as he thought of the events going on next door. 

 

Percy looked at the tiled floor beneath his bucket of vomit on the kitchen floor. This was his mom’s apartment. Sally and Paul lived here for such a long time before their death. Car accident. Sally died instantly, Paul dying shortly thereafter, in the hospital. Even though Percy was far from deserving the love of his mother, until the day she died she supported him, from the swimming camps he attended religiously every summer to the magic tournaments he had with his friends. From the danger phase to the drinking phase. She offered him help whenever she had the time, and even when she didn’t. Since she couldn’t technically give him property that wasn’t hers, he decided to rent the same place where he had grown up. He couldn’t let it go. Not just yet.

 

He took one last look at the apartment to his side, containing Jason and Piper. And Percy Jackson, the strong friend, always there for emotional guidance. Percy Jackson, yet again, cried.

 

**_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_ **

**_Swimming through sick lullabies,_ **

**_Choking on your alibis_ **

**_But it’s just the price I pay_ **

**_Destiny is calling me_ **

**_Open up my eager eyes,_ **

**_‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside_ **

 

_ The ER was brighter than Percy last remembered. They were far less amused after the second admission.  _

 

_ “Look at me, hun. Don’t pay them no mind.” A thick southern drawl from the woman leading him on the gurney down the halls and to the psych ward. After he got situated on the crisp white bedspread, the nurse left. She came back at intervals, and switched with a stocky woman, with the same personality of his mother.  _

 

_ A while later, his friends came in. They had all been crying. Percy supposed he had been crying too at one point. Annabeth and Grover sat to his left. Nico sat in a chair off to his right. Thalia and Reyna arrived, hand in hand, quite obviously supporting each other. A short time after Thalia and Rey arrived, Jason and Piper walked in, heads hung. Piper sat on Jason’s lap.  _

 

**_Just breath,_ ** _ Percy tried to calm himself down. _

 

**_They’re allowed to be happy._ ** _ Percy’s heart began stuttering, making the heart rate line above his head tick in odd directions. At seeing his panic, Percy began breathing harder until he couldn’t hear. Couldn’t THINK. Percy needed fucking space, God damn it!  _

 

_ A nurse came rushing in, a different one than he had ever seen before.  _

 

_ “Look at me. Perseus Jackson, please look at me. You are absolutely fine. Your friends are here for you. They are all right too. You need to calm down, though. You need to calm your heart rate down or your heart might start hurting.” Percy once again tried to focus on the man in front of him’s voice. If he could’ve spoken to that doctor, he would’ve told him that his chest hurt plenty enough as it was. _

 

Percy thought about those memories often. Thought about how selfish he was back then. Fuck, he thought about how selfish he was right now. Nothing more than a leech. At one point he asked himself what he’d done to deserve this. Then he looked at his hands. At his face. At his feet. And it all came back to him. He thought about how much he deserved what was handed to him. He deserved the pain; the bursts of faulty pleasure; the loss of hope. He deserved to die. 

 

**_Comin’ outta my cage_ **

**_And I’ve been doing just fine_ **

**_Gotta, gotta be down_ **

**_Because I want it all_ **

 

Percy stumbled to his roof. He walked forward to the front edge of the building, Jason’s building to his left. He could practically hear it. Could smell it. Could taste it. Could see the freedom, three short steps, and a fall. 

 

And so Percy stepped onto the brick wall, edged around the apartments. Percy turned to face Jason’s building, now to his right. A glance down and he noticed Jason climbing up to the roof as well. 

 

“Percy, please! Get down! You’re going to hurt yourself!” 

 

Percy smiled. For the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile. The one’s Annabeth used to say drove all the girls wild. 

  
“Jason, I’ve always loved you. But now – now I can be free. And who doesn’t want a chance at freedom? Who, when they’re as fucked up as I am, doesn’t want to start over?” And with that, Percy tilted back and began his descent into a new – a better – life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Soldatino by Paola Bennet at the end part for the added 'Ihavedepressionbutwedon'ttalkaboutthat' effect.


End file.
